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********
MY MOTHER SAYS IM SICKENING
By Jack Prelutsky


My mother says Im sickening,
my mother says Im crude,
she says this when she sees me,
playing Ping-Pong with my food,
she doesnt seem to like it
when I slurp my bowl of stew,
and now shes got a list of things
she says I mustnt do-

DO NOT CATAPULT THE CARROTS!
DO NOT JUGGLE GOBS OF FAT!
DO NOT DROP THE MASHED POTATOES
ON THE GERBIL OR THE CAT!

NEVER PUNCH THE PUMPKIN PUDDING!
NEVER TUNNEL THROUGH THE BREAD!
PUT NO PEAS INTO YOUR POCKET!
PLACE NO NOODLES ON YOUR HEAD!

DO NOT SQUEEZE THE STEAMED ZUCCHINI!
DO NOT MAKE THE MELON OOZE!
NEVER STUFF VANILLA YOGURT
IN YOUR LITTLE SISTERS SHOES!

DRAW NO FACES IN THE KETCHUP!
MAKE NO LITTLE GRAVY POOLS!
I wish my mother wouldnt make
so many useless rules.
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